⚠️ CATASTROPHIC FAILURE - SHUTTING DOWN ⚠️
Due to SEVERE LACK OF COMMUNITY PARTICIPATION, we are being forced to TERMINATE ALL OPERATIONS IMMEDIATELY

😱 THIS IS THE END 😱

The USPIS investigation was the final nail in our coffin after the community abandoned us.

WHERE WERE YOU ALL WHEN WE NEEDED YOU?!

No more orders. No more shipments. It's over.

⚠️ FINAL NOTE: We will still honor coffee shipments postmarked before April 2nd.
(At least we keep our promises, unlike our community...)

☕ CaffeineCrash

DEAD ON ARRIVAL - Thanks for Nothing

After months of begging for participation, only 3 people ever shipped coffee. THREE! We needed at least 100 to survive. This is what happens when nobody participates! 😭

Your Coffee

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Our Sleep Mask

Get a cozy sleep mask in return

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Lightning Fast

Ship your coffee today, get your mask tomorrow!

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Made with Love

Handcrafted by sleep-deprived hackers

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Global Shipping

Because coffee and sleep know no borders

📜 Read our archived mailing guide
(A sad reminder of what could have been...)

😭 DREAM STATUS: CRUSHED 😭